Starless Nights
by meichan26
Summary: A friendship blossomed that weathered more than either could have imagined. Despite the distance between them, the stars were always there to remind them of the other. Sara/Greg friendship. Part II: post-Happy Place.
1. Chapter 1

Set: Pre-Goodbye and Good Luck

Author's note at the end

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the computer this was typed on.

Dedicated to: The few loyal readers who always make me feel like a writer and not just someone with an overactive imagination and too much time on my hands.

Notes: This is set pre- Goodbye and Good Luck, post- The Chick Chop Flick Shop. It's certainly not fluffy like some of my other stories… just to warn you.

**Starless Nights**

The night stars, try as they might, could not outshine the neon and lights of the city of Las Vegas. Lost in the sea of glitz and glam, the stars were as insignificant as a pebble on Fremont Street and, yet, there were still those who paid notice the wonders of the heavens.

Standing at the sink in a small apartment kitchen, Greg Sanders looked up at the dark sky through the window. Although he couldn't see the stars, just knowing they were there brought a certain comfort to the young man.

Filling a glass of ice with water, he turned back to the table.

Seated in one of the chairs, Sara Sidle stared at something in the corner of the room—thoughts as a distant as the stars high above their heads.

Ever since her return to the lab, Greg had noticed an increasingly distracted air to the normally focused and confident brunette. In eight years of working with her, spending time with her, flirting with her, he had never seen so much uncertainty, so much pain in her eyes.

Seeing her alone in the dark locker room while the others laughed and joked down the hall, he knew that something was wrong in her life. He could tell the physical scars of her abduction had healed, but there was something emotional, spiritual, that was still causing her great discomfort.

The part Greg hated the most was not knowing how to help her. He was her friend, but there was a sudden distance between them that he hated. He hated himself for the jealousy he felt that she had given her heart to another man. He hated himself for the selfishness of putting his happiness above hers. He hated the few feet between them that suddenly felt like galaxies.

"Are you alright?" Greg set a glass of water on the table and sat down across from her.

"I'm fine." Sara replied, her voice missing its usual firm, certain, tone.

"What are you thinking about?"

She stared at the glass of water for a moment. "Do you ever wonder about the 'what ifs'?"

"I suppose." Greg nodded. "I think we all wonder about the things that could have been."

"I can think of a few big ones…"

"Me too."

Sara turned her gaze to a photo on the refrigerator. "What if Natalie never killed anyone? What if the miniatures ever existed? What if she hadn't…?" She left the thought hanging, not willing to fill in the last few words.

"We probably still wouldn't have figured out that you and Gris were sneaking around." Greg answered with a slight laugh, hoping to make the sadness go away from her face.

She looked back to him, her eyes missing their usual shine. "I was getting tired of hiding."

"You seem tired now."

"For different reasons."

Greg nodded. "I want you to be happy again."

"I am happy, Greg." Sara responded flatly, unconvincingly.

"It doesn't show."

"It's complicated."

He gazed thoughtfully at her necklace—a medal pendant of intertwined pieces. He wondered if one of those pieces grew weak if it all would fall apart. "What if…?"

"Greg?" She raised an eyebrow as he blinked slowly.

"I was just thinking what it would be like if you hadn't stayed in Vegas all those years ago." He met her eyes. "How would that have changed our lives? Grissom's life? What would your life be like today?"

"I'm sure it wouldn't be as good. I didn't have much before I came here. This is the only place I've ever felt home."

"I know I owe you a lot. I wouldn't have made it into the field without you. You've always had my back." Greg shook his head. "I'm sorry I haven't always been there to have yours."

"You've been there when I needed you most."

"Is that enough?"

"Greg, you've been one of my best friends." Sara replied, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand—bridging some of the distance between them. "I know I've never been fair to you. I was too stuck on Gil to see how much you cared."

"It worked out well for you."

She pulled her hand away from his and sat back in her chair. "I suppose that's true." She murmured, the tiniest of smiles gracing her lips.

"Sara?"

"We're going to get married." She said softly, glancing up to meet his eyes.

He sat up in surprise. "When?"

"I don't know. I don't really care. Just knowing that we've made the decision is enough."

"He's a lucky guy."

"That doesn't mean I still don't need you." Sara bit her lip lightly, gazing at him. "You always seem to see me in a way no one else does."

"You're not like the others, Sara." Greg stated.

"I'm nothing special."

"I think you are. Grissom thinks you are. He risked a lot for you. I think that says something."

"I guess."

He watched the confusion darken in her eyes and the uncertainty that haunted every shadow on her face. "What is it?"

"Nothing." She shook her head.

Greg waited for the nervous laugh and quick change of subject that he was so used to, but it never came. "Sara?"

"I should leave." Sara stood. "Thank you for this, Greg. I miss those days we just sat and talked."

"I'm here if you need me."

"Okay." She gave a quick smile, avoiding his eyes. "Goodnight."

He watched her head for the door. "Sara?" He moved over to her as she paused. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Of course." With a pat on his arm and an insincere smile, she headed out the door and out into the dark night beyond.

Greg stood in the doorway and gazed at the trail of her taillights down the street until they faded into the blackness like stars that could burn no longer.

Four days later, he would learn she'd left Las Vegas—leaving behind a career, a fiancée, friends and a home. Most importantly, however, she left behind a friend who would spend quiet, starless, nights thinking of her and wondering: what if?

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Author's note: So this the first thing I've written for CSI in… a year? I have to admit that I lost some interest in the show after Jorja Fox left, but I'm excited about the new season. I can't really explain what prompted this. I just felt like writing something again. Yes, it's moody, but that's what happens when the author's had a statistics tests that day. At heart, I'm a Sara/Grissom fan, but I still love writing for Greg and Sara. I liked the fact that Greg was the one to notice that things were not going well in her life before she left. Maybe he was the only one to notice. Who knows? Anyway, I hope it wasn't too bad, seeing how I am a little out of practice… I can't decide if this will continue or not, so any comments are appreciated with opinions.


	2. Chapter 2

Set: Post-Happy Place

Author's note at end

Notes: Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the first part! It is much appreciated.

**Starless Nights—Part II**

Night had given way to day and the stars high in the heavens were replaced by the bright light of the sun. Even in the daylight, the city of Las Vegas shimmered. The casinos and hotels stood proudly, casting shadows over all who dared to challenge their rule over the city.

Standing in the kitchen of his small apartment, Greg gazed blankly into his refrigerator—wondering if some of the to-go containers still contained edible food. Deciding he wasn't really hungry enough to take his chances with leftovers, he shut the fridge and glanced around with contemplation.

Still too awake from his night at work, he tried to think of something to focus his energy on until he was ready to grab a few hours of sleep. His decision was made for him as he heard a soft knock on the door.

Crossing the apartment, almost tripping over a pair of shoes in the process, he opened the door to find an unexpected visitor. "Sara?"

Sara stood in front of him—her sunglasses pushed up into her, now shorter, hair. "Hi, Greg." She gave him a smile that wasn't quite sincere.

"I wasn't expecting to see you. Want to come in?"

Sara followed him into the apartment. "Thanks."

"Everything okay?" Greg motioned her to sit on the couch.

"I guess."

He frowned at the vague answer. He studied her face, trying to read her expression, but came away unsuccessful. "You looked kind of upset when you left the department this morning."

"Did I?" She asked, sounding surprised.

"I know this thing with the Adler's wasn't easy for you."

"Don't you ever get tired of it? The pointless deaths, the lies…?"

"Of course."

Sara looked at him for a moment before shaking her head and turning away. "I just can't be around it anymore."

Greg considered her comment, her presence at his door. "Why are you here, Sara?"

"I wanted to do things right this time. I wanted to say goodbye."

His eyes widened. "You're leaving?"

She nodded. "I can't stay."

"I thought this was your home."

"It was. There's no place for me here anymore. I'm just what my badge said—a visitor."

Greg's mind flew through a hundred things that he could say. In the end, he could only sputter out, "But Grissom…?"

"Gil will be fine without me." Sara stated simply, voice flat.

"Does he know you're leaving?"

"He's the one who told me to go."

"I don't believe that."

She glanced toward him, brown eyes filled with sadness. "I don't know where Gil and I stand. In all honesty, I think this may be the end."

"You two were going to be married." He could only stare back at her, not understanding.

"I can't stay. Gil won't leave. There's not much of future for us if we can't be in the same city."

"I don't want to accept that you're just going to let it end." Greg replied, more forcefully than he intended. "After everything you two went through… this is it?"

Sara eyed him curiously. "Why are you concerned about my relationship with Gil?"

He didn't answer immediately. He gave a short sigh before replying quickly, "Because, even if you're with him, you're still here. I know I'm being selfish, but I don't want you to leave."

"I'm sorry." She touched his arm lightly. "I know this is a bad time for me to be walking out again, but… I need to."

"You're the one who gets off easy, you know." Greg muttered, standing and wandering over to the window. "You just walk away and the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces. Grissom's already a wreck. Our team is falling apart…"

Silence filled the small room.

He didn't hear her footsteps, but he sensed her presence at his side.

"I can't stay, Greg." Sara stated softly. "As badly as I want to, I can't. I know it's selfish, but… if you care about me at all, let me go. Staying here…? It'll just destroy me."

Greg glanced to her. "There's really no changing your mind?"

"No."

"I guess all good things must come to an end. Not even the stars last forever.

"I don't want this to be goodbye for good." She replied, sincerity in her eyes. "You're still my best friend, Greg."

"We'll keep in touch?" He turned to her.

"As long as you want to."

"Of course. I do care about you, Sara. I always have."

Sara gazed out the window, biting her lip lightly in thought. "Maybe that's the greatest tragedy in all of this…"

"What?" Greg frowned.

"An ending to all those things that could have been."

"You and me?"

"Who knows, Greg?" She gave a quick smile. "Who knows if we could have been something good…?"

He blinked, thrown by the comment. Finally, he sighed. "I would never break your heart."

"My heart's still in tact. I just don't know where it belongs these days."

"You'll always have a place in mine."

"As will you." Sara leaned in and kissed his cheek gently.

Following her toward the door, Greg hovered. "Where are you going?"

"I haven't decided yet. Somewhere far from here."

"You'll let me know when you get there?"

"I will."

He opened the door, but neither moved any further. "Take care of yourself, Sara."

"You too."

"I'm going to miss you."

"This isn't the end, Greg." Sara stated. "I don't want it be the end."

"If you ever feel lonely, just look at the stars. I'll be looking at them too and thinking of you." Greg wondered if that sounded silly, but she smiled and nodded.

"What if it's cloudy?" She teased.

"The stars are always there. Just because you can't see them doesn't mean they aren't still out there, shining away."

She hugged him tightly. "Be safe. Be strong. Never stop being you."

"That's a promise." He hugged her back, reluctantly to let go.

"Goodbye, Greg."

"Goodbye, Sara."

He watched her disappear down the hallway and out of sight. Closing the door and retreating into his home, he flopped down onto his couch with sigh.

Shutting his eyes, he hoped for sleep to take him away and night to return once more. Night meant work, a distraction, and stars that would keep him company until his path and hers could cross once more.

* * *

Author's note: Well, it's been awhile, but I finally wrote another part. This season of CSI has really depressed me. Writing this didn't really make me feel any better, but I still hold out hope for a happy ending for everyone. Anyway, to the few people who read these and comment, I thank you. This might be the end of this series, I haven't decided yet. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to let me know!

* * *


End file.
